As mothers, we are all multitasking to raise happy, kind and empathetic humans. We are there to help boost their self-esteem and their self-confidence? As kids grow, self-esteem can grow too. Parents can help build self esteem and self-esteem may come easier to some kids than others.

Something we always emphasise to parents, is no matter what you do always remember that little eyes are watching you.

We are happy to introduce Matthew Ralph who is a British best-selling children’s book author who lives in London, England. Through his work as a children’s book author, and also his years working in childcare, he has learnt that self-love and confidence are probably the most important things you can ever teach a child. With the right amount of self-confidence, children will be well-equipped to go through life and be a more relaxed and successful person.

Over to Matthew who shares 5 tips to teach self love and confidence to children.

When I decided to write my first children’s book “Sam The Speedy Sloth”, it was very important for me to include messages of self-love and confidence as key themes throughout the story, and I’ve done the same with my other books too.

I believe every child is unique. Self-love and confidence are not always something you’re born with. You have to LEARN them. Children can learn to build more self-confidence and inner strength – no matter how old they are.

5 tips to teach self-love and confidence to children.

  1. Laugh together

They say laughter is the best medicine. And I truly believe that. Laughing relaxes you and makes life seem so much easier, for both children and adults. Not only will your child benefit from this, but your entire family as well.

So, my advice? Laugh as much as possible. Children laugh a lot more than adults anyway – so let their infectious laughs roam freely. Don’t worry if things go wrong. Small mishaps or accidents can actually help your child deal with mistakes in a more relaxed way.

However, it’s important to remember to laugh WITH someone, and not AT them.

  1. Develop small rituals

Rituals build security and trust. If a child feels safe and secure, they’re less likely to be easily thrown off course by difficulties or problems. Rituals are also good because they teach children to stick to regular habits even as adults, like exercise and healthy eating.

So, how about trying out a morning ritual?

Instead of starting the day by just rolling out of bed, potentially in a bad mood, I think it’s good to have 5 minutes of “silly time” every morning (this is something my parents used to do when I was a child!)

For these 5 minutes, you’re allowed to do anything silly and funny. Be it: jumping around, tickling yourself/each other, pulling faces, making funny noises, singing loudly, having a pillow fight or whatever else you can think of.

Your child will probably have a lot of great ideas. So, try it out. I think you’ll be amazed by how positive and energetic you and your child will feel afterwards. It’s also a great (and fun) way to start the day!

Children aren’t the only ones who are allowed to be silly. As adults, we’re taught to just “grow up” and stop being silly past a certain age. But why? Adults want to have fun too! I know I certainly do…

  1. Boredom is important


Thanks to television, the internet, phones/tablets and other similar devices, children aren’t used to being bored these days. When a child says the dreaded line of “I’m sooo bored…” most adults will immediately try to come up ideas of something to do.


However, I think boredom is important for children! It acts as a short break from the constant stimulation of modern life and allows children to use their own creativity – something that doesn’t often happen unless they are encouraged to do so.

So, let your child be bored, and try not to suggest ideas of things to do straight away.

By letting them feel bored, children learn to look for activities on their own that they enjoy. They’ll be more likely in later life to be active and creative, rather than spending their free time sitting in front of the TV or computer.

  1. Tears are ok

Feelings and emotions are important. This even applies to negative feelings like anger, pain, and grief. When a child feels any of these emotions, try not to talk them out of it by saying things like “It’s not that bad” and definitely don’t blame them by saying things like “Pull yourself together.” Distractions are also not helpful.

Let your child experience the full range of these emotions. If you do, they’ll be better equipped to deal with problems and negative feelings later in life.  So, teach your child that negative feelings are not ‘bad’. They are a part of life, and it’s ok to feel negative emotions sometimes. If tears start to fall, just hold them in your arms, be understanding and wait until they’ve calmed down on their own. This applies to both girls and boys!

  1. Let children help out

Children usually like to help if they’re given the chance, especially with things like cooking. helpingUnfortunately, their enthusiasm is often curbed because they tend to make a mess, or they’re too slow. But it’s important for a child to feel that they’re able to help and that their input has actually helped in some way.

So, let your child help if they want. Even if everything takes longer, or chaos ensues. Children only learn through experiences, and they build self-confidence and skills by actually doing things.

And make sure you don’t tell them off if they do something slightly wrong.




Let’s be honest; adults are just children that have had time to grow up.

So, if something would make an adult feel bad, it would likely make a child feel bad too!

These were just a few quick tips to help build self-love and confidence with your little ones. I hope you’ve enjoyed them and please do try them out for yourself.

If you’re interested in children’s books that promote self-love, confidence and uniqueness, please check out Matthew’s website:

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