The physical, mental and emotional load of modern-day motherhood is tough. You are not alone if you feel stressed, tired and overwhelmed. It’s not surprising that we feel this way when you think of everything we have to deal with in the early days, months and years of parenting – sleep deprivation, anxiety, mum guilt, work/life balance struggles, loss of freedom, hormones all over the place….just no time for YOU. There’s a huge amount of change to navigate so it’s no wonder we loose ourselves in the whirlwind and are left feeling tired, stressed and with absolutely no ‘me time’.
When you think about your priorities, making time for self-care probably falls near the bottom of your list. Even though it may seem like the right thing to do, routinely dismissing your own needs can have an adverse effect on your overall health. It can make you irritable, fatigued, stressed and susceptible to a full-blown burnout. So, in order to save your health (and sanity), make time for YOU! It’s vital because by lovingly tending to your mind and body, you give yourself the best possible chance of being the person you aspire to be, the kind of mum you want to be…and your kids will reap the rewards. You will be able to get much more out of life. When we can stay connected to our own wellbeing, it overflows onto our children and we’re more patient, loving, joyful parents.
I love the concept of micro self-care, because even just 10 minutes of self-care time a day can make a HUGE difference to help your wellbeing.
Here are 3 of my favourite ‘micro self-care’ tools to help you stress less and live more….
Cultivate an attitude of gratitude
Gratitude is a fantastic little mindset makeover tool and something that you can practice throughout the day as you go, so it doesn’t add anything extra to your ever-mounting ‘to do’ list. Just try and slow down just a fraction, just enough to briefly ‘press pause’ and just try and be in the moment of whatever you are experiencing and mentally note down what you are grateful for in that moment.
So for example – a child’s laugh. Just be in that moment and mentally note down how grateful you are for that magical laugh. DONE! That’s it. Try and rack up as many of these as you can throughout your day. This micro self-care tool will help you embrace the everyday magic amongst the chaos and whirlwind of motherhood. Magic moments, are all around you if you can just try and tune into them – and if you can you are going to feel more positive, happier, grounded, calm and in control. You will shift your mindset into a positive ‘high vibe’ zone – and you will start to actually subconsciously train your brain to see more positivity all around you and in return this will attract more positivity into your life.
Say no more!
‘No’ is such a small word yet so hard to say! You can say no and still be a good friend, colleague, sister, person. Saying no is empowering. Saying ‘no’ is a massive self-care gift to yourself. Even saying ‘yes’ to things you are ‘meh’ about means you will be out of time and energy for the things you want to give a big fat YES to. So if it’s not a hell yeah – it’s a no. Design your life around the good stuff, make space for that first so that the not so good stuff slowly slips away.
Here are a few ways you can say ‘no’
- While my heart wants to say ‘yes’, the reality of what’s on my plate right now makes this a ‘no’ for me at the moment. Thanks for thinking of me.
- I am really touched by your request, and although it’s hard for me to say ‘no’, it is so necessary. I’m grateful that our relationship allows me to be honest about where I am.
- This sounds wonderful and as much as I would love to be involved, I can’t give it the attention it deserves right now. I am cheering for your success!
- No, thank you. (sometimes it can be as simple as that!)
Assess your energy and mood hoovers!
Self-care is hard and sometimes means setting tricky boundaries and letting go of the stuff that drains us. What can you LET GO of? What could you do with saying ‘goodbye’ to in order to fill your self-care cup with a little more energy?
Make a list for yourself, and try to stop just a few of these things. You will gain SO much more quality time in your life. Here are a few ideas for your ‘stop-doing’ list:
- People pleasing
- Negative self-talk
- Overthinking things you cannot change
- Mindlessly scrolling social media
- Negative people
- Dwelling on the past
Prioritising yourself is really important and can make you feel so much more positive and happy about your day, even just 10 precious minutes. What are you going to do for YOU today to make yourself happy?
Louise Murray is a Health & Mindfulness Coach with the qualification from the Institute of Integrative Nutrition and a mindfulness coach. She looks at nourishing people ON and OFF the plate by coaching them around 12 different aspects of one’s life. Through her work Louise discovered that its busy working women, who often put their own needs last after family and career, benefit from her support the most. She helps them fill their lifestyles with healthy balanced choices and live truly well, being the best version of themselves.