Why do you feel like you’re “not good enough”?
Do you feel like you’re not a good enough mum? Not present enough, not patient enough, not disciplined enough… just not enough? Guess what: most people feel the same. Chances are that your friend whom you think is the perfect mother feels just the same.
So why do we feel like this?
We are constantly exposed to “The Power Mom”: always has perfect hands and nails, never raises her voice with her children (who, by the way, are incredibly well-behaved), runs a successful company, makes delicious cupcakes for every school event, has the perfect husband, makes all the “right” choices (“What? You’re not breastfeeding? I breastfed Henry until he was one and a half!”).
These moms are on our Instagram feed, at our school pick-up, at our NCT class – just everywhere. It goes without saying that their life behind the scenes is completely different from what we see, but they still make us feel inadequate.
The list of external triggers that make us feel “not good enough” is endless, but the point is that we are stuck with that feeling, which can be really hard to shake.
What can you do about it?
- Celebrate your wins
- It’s easy to put pressure on yourself to always be a better mother while ignoring what you are doing well with your children (“Yeah, but that doesn’t count – all mothers do that”)
- Try to be more mindful of how far you have come in raising your children and congratulate yourself
- Celebrating small wins helps to realise that you have successes in your everyday life and trains you to be more mindful of them
- Understand how not feeling “good enough” works
- The feeling of not being “good enough” is usually triggered by how we perceive external factors to reflect on us and fuelled by our internal dialogue
- Realising that this feeling is not a reality but instead is created by us really helps to take a step back and change our mindset