We often feel charged at the beginning of the New Year to think of goals and resolutions. Whilst its good to start setting resolutions, it’s also a great time to pause, take a moment and think of the last time we made New Year resolutions, what they were and how long they lasted. Did you follow through with them or were they dropped as early as February? So this New Year, if you are looking for a new You and to make stronger resolutions and goals, it’s probably time to approach it a little differently – to dig a little deeper and look at fulfilment, your values and its alignment.
I’ve had the opportunity over the past few years to engage with my local communities and talk to women, mothers, mumpreneurs and entrepreneurs on various topics relating to life – family, work, fulfilment, balance, motivation and so on. I often start my coffee mornings with this question – “What do you want your life to look like in 6 months?” It sounds like a simple enough question doesn’t it, but have a go, take a few minutes and try and answer the question.
Responses I get from my groups are: “I have no clue”, “I’m not even sure what I will do tomorrow, forget about 6 months”, “that’s a really tough question.” I was not surprised at these responses, because when was the last time we actually got asked that question? When was the last time we visualised what our life would be like in a year, 5 years, or genuinely taken the time to think of what our dreams and aspirations are. When do we ask questions like – “What fills me up?” “When I’m most alive – who am I, what am I doing and what’s happening around me?” We somehow get caught up in our day-to-day lives, doing the same things over and over again and then feeling “stuck”, in a “rut” or “out of it”.
Living a fulfilling life is a radical act. We live in a world that favours, supports and provides incentives to get along. Honouring who we really our and our values can mean making tough choices but one that ultimately brings resonance and happiness in our lives. We don’t need to shop around for values, we already have them and those values are what make each one of us unique. A fulfilling life is one in which values are honoured each and every day. When you clarify your values, you learn what’s important and what’s not.
So this year, before you set out to write your goals and resolutions take some time, dig deep and see if they align with your values. You can also work with your life coach who can help you discover and clarify your values and create a map that will help you attain strong fulfilling goals. Ask yourself: What do I want my life to look like in 6 months? Think about what really fulfils you and how to align it with your values daily.
I will leave you with a short exercise that you can do, to set fulfilling goals and start 2020 strong based on your values:
- Step 1: Make a list of accomplishments and things that you did best in 2019. These accomplishments can be big or small, just write them down.
- Step 2: Using the list as a guide, think of what’s most authentically important to you; what fulfils you and link them to your values. Make a list of your top most values.
- Step 3: Rank your top 5 values in order of importance.
- Step 4: Write out how expressing these values look like on a day-to-day basis. Brainstorm your values in action.
- Step 5: Take some time, sit down with your favourite beverage, get your calendar out and reorganise your life based on your values. Its’ important that you identity specific times everyday that you will do the things most important to you. Add these to your list and build the rest of your life around them.
When you live your values, you bring out your true authentic self and everyday is a success.
Nima (Poornima) Nair is an International Coach Federation (ICF) accredited AssociateCertified Coach (ACC), an NLP practitioner and a psychologist in training specialising in positive psychology and coaching psychology. She uses the evidence-based science of psychology and the action-oriented techniques of coaching to help individuals grow holistically to live and lead a more fulfilling life.