To the mothers out there, who are struggling in silence, remember that you are alone.
They say it takes a village to raise a child, we say it takes a village to raise a mother.
Nothing has prepared us for what we have had to deal with as mothers. It’s a blessing to be a mother, to have someone call you Mama. Think of all the women out there wishing to become mothers. Its unconditional love. As we have shared before, we say that your vibe attracts your tribe.
When you become a first time Mum you have no idea what you are doing and, you look to find other like minded mums to turn to, be it for support, a chat or just for a playdate. Let’s be honest, we need another mummy friend to make us feel sane. Becoming a mum is generally one of life’s greatest experiences and greatest blessings. However, it can also be an extremely isolating one. Something perhaps some of you have gone through, including me. Many of us, live far away from our families and have very or little support around us. So if you’re a new mum in London or recently moved to London, where are you supposed to find this kind support?
Here are our Ten Top Tips for finding your Tribe.
- Don’t put pressure on yourself to find that perfect group of Mum friends straight away; it takes time and it’s just another thing for a new mum to do! But it does get easier once you find mums to talk to about that strange coloured poo and the fact you haven’t managed to shower for 3 days! Also be part of online communities for mums as a way to share advice and recommendations.
- It can be much easier if you are shy or find it hard making friends, to initially chat online. It’s much easier meeting people in real life once you have already ‘met’. So, have a look on social media for some new mum or baby groups in your area and dip into the conversation. They may not be running yet but hopefully they will be back on soon.
- Remember what people put online is what they choose to share with you. It might be the best hour they have had all week! No one else sees the frantic paddling underwater. They might look like they are acing motherhood from the fabulous yummy organic meals they produce but is their child actually eating them..?
- Join some online classes and groups and look for likeminded friends and try and attend regularly. It can seem really daunting to say hello a bit like asking someone out on a first date! But you’ll find that the mum next to you will be so relieved you did and will have been having exactly the same conversation in her mind.
- Use your children as a conversation starter.mIt’s the really big thing you have in common!
- Give the gift of words – they cost nothing. When a fellow mum tells you, she loves your dress/handbag/hair it can make you feel a million dollars especially when she’s thinking the worst! Be kind always.
- Join a local buggy fitness which is two great wins –getting out and getting fit which does wonders for clearing the mind and your mental health.
- Set up a regular day that you meet for coffee in real life. It’s as much about you having a routine for seeing friends as it is for your child.
- Use technology to your advantage! How else can you find out if anyone else is awake when your child wont sleep…! Why else would you have a WhatsApp group…! After all they say that your vibe attracts your tribe. This little saying has stayed with me throughout my life even more so since I became a mother and I believe it to be 100% true!
- Be open minded. Never judge and always accept help in any way, shape of form.
