Learning during lockdown – a different perspective
The impact of children learning from home rather than at school is of major concern to everyone – it’s having a huge effect on not just the children but also their parents, carers and teachers. We tend to hear the negatives about how much parents are struggling as they juggle the demands of their own jobs and the needs of their children. In this article, we’re going to take a more positive approach; first, it’s important to know that you’re not alone. And second, by changing your perspective on the situation, both you and your child will experience a significant improvement in your outlook and wellbeing. Think of it as a golden opportunity to get to know your child’s world.
You’re not alone
Professor Brian Cox, well known physicist, has admitted that while his knowledge of physics is top-notch, he’s struggling to help his children with many of their other school subjects. Primary school headteacher and parent Sarah White wrote to parents in January to share her own struggles, but she also expressed an important message that every parent should hear:
“Well done! You are surviving a pandemic! Whatever your personal circumstances, we think you are doing a great job! If your child has had lots of microwave meals, stayed up too late, played too much on the Xbox … that’s OK! We know our pupils are safe, loved and cared for, and that is the most important thing at the moment.”
You are important
Whatever age your children are, remember that you’re important to them. You may feel that your teen’s communication with you is limited to grunting but do make time for them – and give them some autonomy in when they choose to talk to you. Set an expectation that you will have a conversation but ask them: “what time works best for you?”
When your child is talking to you, it’s so important that you actively listen to them. Bear in mind the words of American educator Stephen Covey: “Most people don’t listen with the intent to understand. Most people listen with the intent to reply.”
Routines and screen time
Find a routine that works for your situation and encourage your child to take regular breaks. We’re probably all looking at screens for much longer periods of time at the moment, so to prevent eye strain, follow the 20-20-20 rule: for every 20 minutes spent looking at a screen, look away to a distance of 20 feet, for 20 seconds.
If your child has been given a lot of work to do by their school, it can be overwhelming. For younger children, it’s probably best that they do the longer pieces of work in the morning when they are fresher; and complete the more creative activities in the afternoon. In addition, do ensure your child keeps up with their basic reading – and if that means all they read is the back of a cereal packet, that’s still OK.
Older children work differently because they are less alert in the mornings because of their melatonin levels, so they’re likely to be better at tackling the bigger tasks later in the day. Your role with them is more that of facilitator, making sure that they have a place to work, take regular breaks and eat and drink regularly. However, you’ll still need to check what they’re doing and that they have a structure in place.
Five ways to wellbeing
The NHS recommends five ways to look after our mental health and these are just as important while your child is not at school:
Connect
Active
Learning
Mindful
Giving
Practising these can have a ‘calming’ effect so, if you can, try to have in mind all five of them for you and your child every day.
Other ways of learning
Learning isn’t just about schoolwork, there are many ways to learn. Particularly with teenagers, you can give them responsibility to choose other options, that may also tie in with the five ways to wellbeing mentioned above. For example:
- Ask them to cook a meal once a week, where you give them a budget and they do the rest.
- Ask them to help with their younger sibling’s learning.
- Go for a walk and listen to a podcast or audio book.
- Go for a walk together but ask them to choose the route – ask them to include certain things on the route, such as geographical features or historic buildings.
- Go for a walk and take photos – you could set a theme and then post the story on social media.
- Write a family newsletter and send it to their grandparents or other family members.
Final tips
- Your circumstances are unique – don’t compare yourself with others.
- Believe that you’re doing the best you can at any one moment in time.
- Focus on what your children have done and not on what they haven’t done and talk with them every day about what they’ve achieved.
- Keep your expectations realistic.
- Be kind to yourself. It’s tough right now. If your children are loved and being looked after, you’re being a success.
Find more practical advice for parents on the Charlie Waller website: charliewaller.org/parent-carer. The Charlie Waller Trust provides evidence-based information and tools that can easily be put into practice to support young people’s mental wellbeing.
This article is written by Julie Turner, Schools & Families trainer for Charlie Waller Trust. Julie has worked in education for over 30 years as a teacher, school counsellor, and headteacher.
