Why Making Mummy Friends is so important?

This month has been elected ‘Friendship’ month and as the month is coming to and end we would like to share some thoughts with you about what friendship means to us, why its important to have mummy friends during motherhood and share some touching quotes from some mums who have become life long friends through our network. More importantly we would like to thank you all for being the friends you are and for the support you give one another each day since joining Kensington Mums, a home away from home for many mums in Kensington and beyond.

Throughout ones life, the numbers of friendships one can make are countless. We start as children becoming friends with everyone you meet. We make new friendships in the classroom or school playground. We become friends with our parent’s friend’s children and bond with other children and families on holiday destinations during school vacations. As children and teenagers we never miss the opportunity to make new friends. During those years we end up having several best friends, we go to countless birthday parties every month and are constantly busy with play dates and sleepovers.

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As we grow up and as our personalities change we start to clash with some and bond with others. Circumstances change and we start to surround ourselves with just those people who we feel we relate to in our everyday lives or those who we don’t need to see on a daily basis but when we do spend time together, we hardly need to speak a word, we are just understood.

Then we have our mummy friends. Friends we make as we embark on our motherhood journey. Some mum friends we make as early as during our antenatal classes. Others mummy friends me make during the first days & months of our babies lives whilst others we make along the way as our children grow up, go to nursery or meet at the school gates for drop off and pick up. These are the friends who get to know you as you are also discovering yourself too.

 

 

“I find mummy friendships fascinating because people who get to know me as a mother are getting to know someone who I am also discovering”. Nathalie Bernadotte

“No two mother’s experiences will be the same. What each of us needs is support and love from our community when we start our own motherhood journey”. Dina Maktabi

When I first became a mother it dawned on me that it didn’t matter how much I adored my newborn and loved being a mum, the loneliness and isolation was a big part of motherhood and there wasn’t much out there to help me handle it or cope with it.

As much as I wanted this experience to be the best at all times, I often felt lost and didn’t know what to do with my baby or myself.

I tried to stay positive and decided to be active. I started by going to baby massage classes to meet other mums but that half an hour session in a 24hr day just wasn’t enough for me.

I slowly started realising that I was overwhelmed by this new life and caught up in a routine that wasn’t mine, where I was putting my baby’s needs and wellbeing before mine.

It was a mix of sadness and frustration. I was so blessed with this child and happy at times, but my whole world revolved around my child now and it seemed like London had turned baby friendly forgetting about mums & their needs in the equation. So I spent my long days and sleepless nights making plans, plans I eventually put into action when I had my second baby.

Kensington Mums started as an online newsletter. I wrote and wrote, about all the places I experienced as a new mother discovering London with my baby in tow. This was sent to friends I have met via playgroups and baby classes. As I grew up in London, I knew all the places to visit and  things to do but it was a different ball game when I had a newborn and even more so as I was the first one from my group of friends to have a baby. I slowly started getting replies and mums were interested in what I had to say and share. I quickly knew I wasn’t alone and started making ‘virtual mummy friends’. With Facebook it is so easy to stay home behind a screen and getting in touch with the outside world by updating our status and uploading cute photos of our little ones. This is all done online and very virtual.  In my opinion, virtual mum friendships is great to have but so is “non-virtual” friendships.

As my posts grew I knew that I wanted to give and share more with these mums. Hiding behind a screen was easy but easy wasn’t what I was after. I wanted to help and support other mums who were going through their first days and moments as mothers. I wanted to reach out to them to let them know that everything they read in books, was nothing compared to what was yet to come. I wanted to reach out to them and let them know they are not alone in their motherhood journey. Someone out there has been through or is going through the same journey. Most of all, I wanted to get to know those mums, to connect with them and to listen to their stories. I wanted our children to meet and play and for all of us to share those precious first time experiences as mothers together.  I wanted to create and grow a community for mothers where no mother will ever feel alone. There is this warm and welcoming feeling you get from sharing stories about your little one’s supermarket temper tantrums or having a giggle about a sleepless night that you thought would never end.

Having these chats over coffee (every mum’s essential need for survival) is what our events and meet ups are about. It’s about sharing and supporting each other while making long lasting friends. Having a Mum stop me on the high street to say thank you for doing what I do, make me so happy and gives me goose bumps all over.

When Kensington Mums started our events were based in private homes but since our first get together in 2011 we have come a long way and now enjoy mornings in friend’s homes as well as stylish cafés, restaurants, and hotels.  Our events are made for you to meet like-minded Mums, whether you are a first time Mum, new in the country or just want to make some mummy friends, our events are for you. And for those of you who work, don’t feel left out, as we always organise pamper events, and mums night out while sipping bubbles and mingling with other mothers, because we deserve it!

Here is our top 10 reason why making mummy friends is so important.

  1. You get to learn so much from one mother to another.
  2. Sharing top tips and recommendation for a mother who has ‘been there and done that’ is priceless.
  3. They help you reconnect with the outside world.
  4. You motivate each other if you are going through the same “mummy phase”.
  5. You don’t fell like the ‘odd one out’ when going out at night. Your mummy friends will need/want an early night as much as you!
  6. They keep you sane and understand exactly what you are talking about.
  7. Beat depression and the isolation factor, by interacting and talking with adults vs kids.
  8. Have someone to drink hot coffee or tea vs cold coffee.
  9. Rotate and share school or nursery drop off and pick ups.
  10. Through mummy friends your partners/ husbands get to meet daddy friends, which is great for them too.

Here are some heart warming words our mums have shared with us on what Kensington Mum has done for them during this incredible and challenging time in our lives; something we all relate to: Motherhood.

“Mothers to the rescue… Kensington Mums is an amazing place to be (or to follow). As a first time mum in Kensington it helped me bond with other mums in the group. 5 years later, another baby and a move to Paris and I am still a Kensington Mum at heart”.

“What I like the most about Kensington Mums is that it’s not just a family blog where you can find activities to do in London with your little ones, it’s also a network support group for mums. There’s always someone in the group to talk to, or an article posted on social media, which reminds you that you’re not by yourself. It’s great to be able to regularly get together and share ideas, but also our thoughts and feelings, plus Kensington Mums always gives us an insight on the most fun things to do with kids”.

“Thanks to Kensington Mums I made some life long friend ships. Friends I can truly rely on. Kensington Mums is the place to go not to form friendships but a place for your little ones to make some life long friends too”.

“I got to know about Kensington Mums through Dina the founder who is a friend and ex colleague. I found the concept really encouraging and inspiring to get mums together to meet and share experiences in a fun, friendly and savvy way. This made a lot of difference to have such a support network on the motherhood journey especially for young mums. I have great memories of participating in events organised by KM which I would always cherish such as the motherhood exhibition in 2014 where I met other mums talking about what motherhood means to them and also the mums night out in 2015 to mark Mother’s Day where we had so much fun getting glamorous, letting our hair down and dancing away. In addition to this KM has been a useful all round resource on getting tips and information on events, activities, products and services. I highly commend Dina for a great job done and say thank you for giving me the opportunity to experience KM. Keep up the good work and much love”.

“Being a mum is tough and a single mum is even tougher. With the power of Google, I stumbled across Kensington Mums and before I knew it, I was introduced to a wonderful group of mums. Having a great support network as a newbie mum is important as it allows you to build your confidence with being a mum, allows you to share stories and just have a laugh with someone else over topics like nappy changes and breast feeding! I feel blessed to have made such great friends through Kensington Mums”.

“Being part of Kensington Mums during its first baby steps came at a great time for me as I too started my journey through mummy-hood.  It offered a refreshingly new world of mums and tums, babies and toddlers, advice and support, charity runs and spas, and a network and friendship to be a part of and a little community that grew and grew offering treats and delights, advice and suggestions, information and a go-to place for all the family. 
I look forward to seeing it grow even more, watch how it develops and evolves and continues to provide a much needed addition and an exciting interesting meeting point to reach out to even with our own busy family lives. Thank you Dina for all your hard work”

We would like to wish Happy Friendship Month to all the international Kensington Mums we’ve met via this amazing network support, which keeps growing day after day. We feel incredibly blessed to have been part of this growing community since we became mothers.

 

Featured Image by Captured by Juliana